Return From the Void

I have returned from what most bloggers would call a "blog void", a time in a blogger's life where no posts are put up on his/her blog for a significant length or period of quantifiable time. Yeah, I know that sentence could be simplified, but to cut a long story short, I haven't been updating my blog for more than 2 months. To my blog-faithful, I know you've been counting the days and wondering whether I'm still alive or whether my blog is. Either way, the wait is over...

First and foremost, I'd juz like to fill u guys/galz on something close to my heart. They say that no matter where you go, you'll always return "home" eventually. Then, there's the saying, "home sweet home". Without scrolling down, you might be wonderin where this narrative is heading to. Well, to fill those of u who are still clueless, quite a significant part of my long 4-month break was used to shift stuff from my old home to my new one. Yeap, u heard right... For all my primary/secondary schoolmates/frenz, the house many of u have visited me in every year, year after year, has already been sold to the government. Before I returned to KL to do my 2nd year of medical studies, my fam & I had already shifted into our new home, and I was stayin there for a couple of weeks before I had to drive up again. However, this post is actually written coz I wanna dedicate it to my old home, situated along Jalan Stulang Darat, where I spent a good number of years. I have many memories, both good and bad, of the things that went on in that house and I treasure them equally, as they have shaped me into the person I am today. In total, I have lived here for more than a decade! In fact, my adolescent years were spent growing up here. Now in a few weeks time, according to the city planners, the government will actually demolish it to the ground and use the newly flattened terrain to build the new "super-highway" leading from the new CIQ complex (for those jargon-illiterate, CIQ stands for Customs, Immigration & Quarantine) to Taman Iskandar/Permas Jaya.

I will juz post up my final visual memories (a.k.a. photos) of this monumental relic in my life...

1 of the 2 living rooms, probably the coldest room in the entire house coz it had two air-con units.

The "modified" kitchen where most of the meals at home were cooked, boiled, steamed, fried, etc...

The pantry where we kept all our canned food, bread, cutlery, and junk food! :)

The entertainment room, where the family would gather to watch TV, video tapes, VCDs, DVDs, ... yeah anythin visual and audible. Oh, and the younger generation in my extended family utilised the PS2/X-Box here too.

The ever-spacious open porch that my dad claims can fit up to 12 cars! I think he might be right. *winks to dad*

You can see the other half of the porch in this pic. Oh, and my home's guest suite is situated at the top-left corner of this pic.

As mentioned earlier, home is the place most people will run to in the end. To some, it could mean a place of comfort, to others it would mean being surrounded by familiar, loving faces of family members. Still, others seek out solitude in the 4 walls of their homes. Sometimes, people have varying definitions of home. I would admit, sometimes, that I define home not as a place, but rather, a being... to be more specific, THE being: God. We all need our "time-out" being away from people, not the least, our loved ones... at any one point in our lives.

There must be times in your life that you yearn for more of God than
your schedule will allow. We all have. We are tired, stressed by our
jobs, crowded by friends and burdened by obligations. We have abundant
life but are too busy for it! Even good obligations and commitments
can turn toxic to our soul. Christian author, Madeleine L’Engle
resonates within us when she writes in A Circle of Quiet that “(e)very
so often I need a OUT; something will throw me into total
disproportion, and I have to get away from everyone- away from all
those people I love most in the world-in order to regain a sense of
proportion.” However this is more than just a need to get away. There
is also a need to get to (somewhere). And in our case, the need is to
get to the presence of God. In other words, we need to go to a
spiritual retreat.

“Spiritual retreat,” explains Emilie Griffin in Wilderness Time, “is
simply a matter of going into a separate place to seek Christian
growth in a disciplined way. Retreat offers us the grace to be
ourselves in God’s presence without self-consciousness, without
masquerade. Retreat provides the chance to spend time generously in
the presence of God. In such time, God helps us to empty ourselves of
cares and anxieties, to be filled with wisdom that restores us.”

Jesus himself sought times of quiet and solitude. The evangelist Mark
tells us in middle of a busy schedule, “(v)ery early in the morning,
while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to
a solitary place, where he prayed. Simon and his companions went to
look for him, and when they found him, they exclaimed: "Everyone is
looking for you!"” (Mark 1:35-37). This is not an isolated incident
for Jesus. After his miraculous feeding of the five thousand,
“(i)mmediately Jesus made his disciples get into the boat and go on
ahead of him to Bethsaida, while he dismissed the crowd. After leaving
them, he went up on a mountainside to pray” (Mark 6:56-46).

The evangelist Matthew too made a similar observation of Jesus: “After
he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to
pray. When evening came, he was there alone.” (Matthew 14:23). Luke
too remarks on this peculiar characteristic of Jesus: “Yet the news
about him spread all the more, so that crowds of people came to hear
him and to be healed of their sicknesses. But Jesus often withdrew to
lonely places and prayed.” (Luke 5:15-16). It appears that the more
his fame spreads, the more he is in demand as a teacher and healer,
the more Jesus looks for a quiet place, to be away from the crowd that
he serves. And what does he do when he is alone? He prays. He commune
with his Father. As soldiers in battle in the frontline need to be
rotated back to the rear to rest or team sportspersons have time out,
Jesus after every spiritual battle needs a retreat; a retreat, not in
the sense of a setback but in the concept of a timeout. It is in his
Father that Jesus finds rest.

It is more than rest that Jesus receives in his retreats. He also gets
wisdom. “One of those days Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray,
and spent the night praying to God. When morning came, he called his
disciples to him and chose twelve of them, whom he also designated
apostles…”(Luke 6:12-13). These twelve men will transform the world
and brings God’s plan of redemption to another level. The wisdom comes
from being in the presence of God. To achieve this type of wisdom
needs trust.

For us, a spiritual retreat requires trust in the Holy Spirit. A
retreat is not like a church camp, a conference or a vacation- where
activities may be planned in advance and we know the agenda (mostly to
have a good time, hopefully to learn something). In a retreat, we do
not know what God has in store for us, but we are willing to take the
risk to find out. We participate in confidence that the Holy Spirit is
entirely trustworthy and will never lead us to harm.

There is a need for us to persist in Scripture reading, journal and
prayer even though the silence and solitude frightens us. In a group
retreat, there is a strong temptation to flee the presence of God into
the company of friends where it is safe and comfortable. To engage in
idle group gossip takes our attention from having to be silent before
the Lord, and the discomfort of the work of the Holy Spirit on our
souls. However it is to our good that we persist. The Psalmist says,

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."

Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare
and from the deadly pestilence.

He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. (Psalm 91:1-4)

It is in a spiritual retreat that you have the time and opportunity to
discover who you are, and to whom do you belong to. That is wisdom
indeed.

A Retreat Prayer,

Father, we approach You with great expectations and fear. We have high
expectations in this encounter with you. Yet we are fearful because in
Your light and holiness, we may discover things about ourselves that
we are not comfortable with. Help us to discover and face the truth
about ourselves. May the Holy Spirit works powerfully within our
hearts, minds, and souls. May we rediscover ourselves in new ways and
give us the strength to be transformed to the likeness of Your Son.
Give us more love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Father, we ask for a more intense revelation of Yourself to us in this
retreat. We want to know You, know more of You and to love You. Help
us to break the many false concepts of You that we have developed over
the years, some of which we have made into idols. Help us to know You
as revealed in Your Son, Jesus Christ.

Give us the grace to follow you. The road ahead is hard and rugged. We
are afraid, O Lord. We are afraid of pain and suffering. We are afraid
of things that you may ask us to give up. We are afraid of illness,
loneliness, dryness, despair and constant stress. Know our weaknesses
and be gentle with us. Forgive us in our failures when You test us. As
you make a saint of St. Peter, make a saint of us, we pray.

Most of all, Lord. We ask that you will show us the splendour of what
you have given us: our life in You; a life lived here on earth with
Christ. We ask that you show us and lead us into simplicity of life
and of heart. Lord, help us to know you in our daily life, to know you
in the breaking of bread, in song, in fellowship, and in the cleansing
of our hearts by penitence and prayer.

In the Name of Your Son we pray.

Amen

~Tim~